I was preparing a lesson for Relief Society on tithing. My initial thought when I saw my assigned topic was, okay, it's not the most profound subject but everything is important, right? So I'm sure we'll get something good out of this.
I had an awesome experience, and I'm humbled to admit, I didn't see it coming.
Thinking about the Law of Tithing made me reflect on the blessings I've received from it--that's what these lessons are partially responsible for, I'm sure. Among other blessings, I thought about the temples, the Young Woman youth program growing up, and my mission (the fact that I served on temple grounds, in a Visitors' Center, and the fact that I got to serve at all). The gratitude I felt is nothing short of feeling divine love--because I know that's what it is. However, I also noticed that one of the cool things about tithing is because of it's simplicity and veracity, it easily illustrates, through parallel truths, other principles of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
For example: Balance in all things--including identity.
I know it seems like a jump, so here's my train of thought...
Within the lesson manuals Study Suggestions, there were two questions for the chapter about the blessings of tithing which I felt were practically asking the same question: What blessing come from tithing in regard to programs and such, that tithes make possible? And what blessing have I received from tithing? They're practically the same questions and answers, to a large extent. But after thinking about it, I starting to see that approaching principles with two perspectives gives broader understanding to that single principle--this was like slap in the face. I've been seeing a lot of things partially, almost like with one eye; my depth perception was thrown off, and I missed so much more of what there is to understand.
I still haven't explained myself, so here we go: Tithing starts with us individually. I pay one-tenth of my increase and I'm blessed, IMMENSELY. I learn sacrifice (the law and a method), and the list of blessings I receive because I sacrificed is super long. But then because I contributed funds to the Church, the blessings snowball because I'm contributing to the construction and operation of temples, missions, church programs, printing learning materials, and this list goes on forever. But I know my meager income isn't generating all of that--not even close. Yes, I contributed, and no matter how small, it counts and it helps (that's FACT). However, it only works and I'm only getting these blessings because of everyone else who's contributing their one-tenth. So I'm receiving blessing as an individual, and I'm receiving blessings as one of millions of members of the church--two perspectives.
When that clicked in my mind it like I was falling into the right gear on bike; the wheels in my heard starting turning, taking the dual perspective as an individual and as being part of something bigger, to everything. I didn't think too far or for too long, because I knew it would go on forever, and really will apply to everything without exception. So I mentally skipped to the end, and found two thoughts--a review of something I knew, and a mini-revelation that encompasses it all.
First, it reinforced the truth that nothing we do as an individual only effects us as an individual. Every choice and every action, influence my character and my life. I have a family and friends, I have colleagues at work and school, I meet random strangers at the gas station, in the park, at the store, bank, gym, in line for the bathroom, out in the middle of nowhere when I'm camping--and the things I've done, no matter how big or small, sum up the person I am, the person who is interacting with every single other person I cross paths or walk down a path with.
Yesterday I tried to learn how to surf an artificial wave at a rec pool. With the exception of about 4.2 seconds total, I failed riding that wave as many times as I tried it. Multiple people gave me suggestions on how to stay on the board and keep my balance, and about three guys I'd never met before gave me props for not giving up--despite not getting it down (yet). Among the friends I was with, I know of some decisions they've made that have made them the genuinely good people they are--and knowing it makes me feel fortunate to call them friends. I know nothing specific about the people encouraging me at the wave pool, but all it took was their kindness for me to know that they too have made some good choices to built their kind of character. These character defining decisions, made by both those I know and those I don't know, had absolutely nothing to do with me when they were made--but they still affected me. Because of the sum of who each of these people are, because of their choices, I walked away from multiple face-plants and wash-outs feeling pretty good about myself. Despite being sore today, I even feel good enough about the experience to want to go back and try again.
Earlier this week, a business owned and managed by men I've never met made the decision to close down a department of their company. With their decision, my mother was let go from her job, which limited the income in our home and how much my parents are able to support me as one of their children. I'm NOT saying these men are "evil" or that they made a malicious choice, and I'm NOT complaining. Life happens. But the fact of the matter is because of a decision made by people I personally don't have any association with, my life has been affected. A choice made independent of me still requires me to reevaluate my plans for college and my own job, which in turn impact just about every other part of my life.
Every action, whether or big or small, bears consequence that ripple out and effect more than we realize. That's why the first and second greatest commandments are the only two that matter: Love the Lord thy God with everything you've got, and do it by loving everybody around you. If you really do that, your every action is done with the motive of love for God and all men. You're going to do whatever you can to make the kind of choices that make you a better person and bless the lives of everyone else--and from there every other commandment naturally falls in line when, where, and how they're suppose to.
Second, my all encompassing mini-revelation. This balance of having both the individual and the one-of-many perspectives needs to be understood not only in context of choice and consequence, but also in our very identity.
Think of grade school. You know the punk crowd? "Defiance of social norms" is one definition for punk. Now think of hipsters; it's punk with a different look, and a passive attitude replacing a more aggressive one. They're one in the same because their mission is pretty much the same: to be unique, or just not part of the norm. This motive, however, isn't exclusive to these crowds. Every clique has a criteria. The popular crowd is unique because of social skill; the nerds require academic intelligence; jocks have athletic ability; the artsy crowd asks for talent and/or being too deep and misunderstood; band kids need an instrument and no shame; and list goes on. Everyone wants to be special, but not alone. Everyone wants to be unique, but only enough to send a signal out to others on the same wave-length. Everyone wants to be one-of-a-kind, but no one wants to be the only one.
If every crowd has a criteria that sets them apart from the norm, then tell me where or what "normal" is?
I'm willing to bet that most people could have been identified by others as fitting in with a particular crowd, but those people individually wouldn't really agree with their given designation. We all look at the world from our stand-point and think everyone else has it figured out. We think we're the only one floating outside of a clique, or an impostor within one. If anyone denies that, I'm also willing to bet they're either naive or in denial.
Normal is the fact that we all want to belong. Normal is that we're all looking for where we belong. But what's also normal, is the fact that each individual is actually pretty d*** special. Just like a meager one-tenth offering for tithing is genuinely appreciated by God.
We are one-of-a-kind, and one-of-many.
My first day in the MTC, all the missionaries who had arrived that Wednesday spent part of the evening in a meeting with the MTC President--there were several hundred of us. It was our orientation of what to expect and what was expected of us. He took the time for every missionary to stand to represent where they were from. I don't remember the exact point or reason President Smith did that, but this is what I do remember: He had a list of every place the missionaries were coming from. One by one he went down that list, naming every country alphabetically (Albania, Australia, Brazil...etc.) and one to a handful of elders and sisters stood each time. People came from everywhere, which was pretty cool. He left the United States for last, then did the same thing naming each of the 50 states. This time, Utah was left for last.
There have been so many times when I've heard people make fun of Utah, and I've known people carry pride in being a Mormon not from Utah. I understood how they felt, and honestly, for a while I agreed--until President Smith finally asked those of us remaining to stand.
Like most of us probably expected, the majority of those in the room stood when he finally said "Utah." What it didn't seemed like anyone expected was how impressive the reality of that number suddenly was. The was a moment of bustling sound as we stood, followed by an immediate hush and "whoa......" from everyone else. I didn't feel like just another "Utah Mormon," or one of however many hundred--I felt like one of an army! The commonality we shared didn't make me feel like I was pointless, it empowered me to feel like I was suddenly that much stronger, as strong as each person who standing combined! That moment, I think, was when I began to understand the importance of one among many, that something big is only a sum of it's many individual, small, but incredibly valuable parts.
The first great commandment is to love God, the second is to love all the parts that make Him great. I'm getting it now.
Every soul is great is the sight of God. That makes more sense now.
The Savior suffered for everyone, but would have done it just for me. I am beginning to believe that now.
I'm a daughter of God. That identity is both what makes me unique, and places me where I really do belong.
This whole idea, it might not seem like a big deal, but again, just like my contributing one-tenth isn't much on its own, it still makes a difference. This extra bit of understanding brings me a little more clarity, a little more focus to what's going on, and to the world around me.
All for one and one for all; the Three Musketeers were really on to something.
